Carrying a Pregnancy to Term With a Serious Diagnosis
Congratulations on the impending birth of your baby! Your pregnancy is different from a “normal” one if your baby has been diagnosed with a congenital birth defect or another serious medical issue.
The big decision has been made; you have decided to try and carry your child to term in the face of a serious health problem. It is not an easy decision to make. You may have agonized over what to do or it may have been an easy choice. Whatever the case, carrying a child with serious health issues has an effect on you and your family.
Should you let people know about your baby’s problems? That is a personal decision that only you can make. If you do inform people, you can most likely expect to receive support and love. You may also grow apart from some people. It is difficult for people to know what to say and as a result, they may just find it easier to avoid you. That can hurt a lot. Still others may openly criticize your decision. It is important to remember that you are in a relatively unique situation that not many people experience. Knowing how to "correctly" react may be difficult for some. It is ok to let someone know if they hurt you with what they say or do. If you keep things private, you will not have to deal with potential alienation and/or criticism. There are pros and cons to each decision, only you know what is best in your situation.
Your emotions will likely be all over the place and you may not feel rational. But this is normal. It is ok to be angry, sad, scared, any emotion that you feel are normal. It is not easy to have the knowledge that your child has physical problems and may not live. You are NOT crazy, it just feels that way at times.
It can help to have at least one person that you can be completely honest and open with regarding your feelings. That may be a spouse, family member, friend, therapist, even strangers. It is good to voice your feelings and have some sort of release. You may need medication to help you thorough this (see your doctor if you feel things are hopeless or are suicidal) because it can have a huge effect on you mentally. There is no shame in asking for help.
It is important to keep yourself as healthy as possible throughout the pregnancy, for both you and the baby. You will need to be healthy for the journey that comes after your baby’s birth.